Something to brighten your day on a day when the bad news just keeps a-coming...
Nancy Pelosi was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'
The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy.
Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
'My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.'
'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy.
'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.'