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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Helen Thomas is Outraged (picture warning)

Helen Thomas, the Cruella DeVille of the White House Press Corp, is outraged. She is outraged that we are not outraged about the outrage in Iraq and President Bush. Speaking at Centre College on Thursday, Thomas made her pitch to be the next UN Ambassador, Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense all rolled into one big wrinkly blob. (courtesy of the Winchester Sun)

"She made a plea for peace and suggested Bush do as President Lyndon Johnson was advised in Vietnam, "Declare a victory and leave."

"Asked if there was ever a justifiable reason for America to go to war, she said conflicts should be resolved through the United Nations and non-violent pressure. Thomas agreed with the decision to invade Afghanistan but said that bombing Iraq has just been on the agenda of neo-conservatives to secure oil and posturing in case of a third World War."

Thomas also auditioned for the spot of Court Jester for the Press Corp. David Gregory resigned the position in total embarrassment yesterday after President Bush delivered a public smackdown to him at the Press Conference on Friday. Here are a few lines from Thomas' stand up comedy routine...

"There is truth in the papers," she said. "It's in the comic strips."

"Asked what has been Bush's greatest accomplishment, she quoted Eisenhower, who on the occasion of being asked what policy decisions then Vice President Richard Nixon participated in, said, "Give me a week and I'll think of something."

"Asked who she thought would get the Democrat and Republican nominations for president in 2008, Thomas said Hillary Clinton and John McCain. She added that she is always wrong."

Thomas closed out her tirade with a jab at bloggers in general.
"We have reached the stage where everyone with a laptop thinks they're a journalist. ... It's very frightening."

Actually Helen, in reality it should read "everyone with a press pass thinks they are a journalist." Some are just washed up hate filled bags of venom that ceased to be relevant 20+ years ago.

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