This is the original fable...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
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An Updated Version...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Al Sharpton declares a boycott on the ant's business.
Anti-ant activists stage a sit in on the front lawn of the ant's home. Cindy Sheehan gives a moving interview where she compares the grasshopper to her son Casey. Protestors burn ants in effigy while blaming President Bush for the grasshopper's status.
Nancy Pelosi exclaims in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Dick Durbin compares the Ant to Pol Pot and the grasshopper's living conditions to a Gulag. Harry Reid calls the ant a "loser" and a "liar".
John Kerry says the ant is ignorant and claims the ants are swiftboating the grasshopper.
John Murtha claims the ant has killed many grasshoppers in an act of cold blooded murder because of all the pressure the ant has been under.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Al Gore decries the size of the ant's carbon footprint.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant,
and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008!
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